The dollar store christmas

Christmas is coming up soon, and I'm really looking forward to it. There was a time I used to dread it. In particular the year I had to shop for my kids at the dollar store. When I first had kids I used to buy gifts according to what I could afford, which was never anything really expensive, but they always enjoyed it. We baked a lot, shared the baked goods with others, and visited friends. Then came the year I got divorced. It was hard, I was broke, and I made the mistake of shopping with credit cards to try to compete with my ex. By the following year, I was still broke with major credit card debt and no cash. Now what? I had no money to buy a tree, no money for gifts, in fact I wasn't sure where we were even going to get enough food to eat. So I went to the dollar store with $20 that I didn't have to spend and bought my five kids christmas presents. I felt horrible. I can't tell you how horrible I felt that year. My ex dropped off my kids that christmas and the kids were so excited to come home. I was so stressed they would be upset and disappointed. They opened all their gifts and were thrilled to get them. In fact my son Josh said it was the best christmas he'd ever had. I went to the bathroom at that point and just cried. While I was relieved that they were happy I felt like the worst mother in the world for buying my kids gifts at the dollar store. How did I get to this place? What happened to me? I went from looking forward and celebrating christmas with my family and enjoying the birth of Jesus to crying in the bathroom because I had no money. I used to spend every christmas baking and bringing things to my friends and was now sitting home alone. What happened to me that my handmade gifts weren't good enough? Why did I lose the spirit of christmas? I'm not sure where I went wrong, but I do know that it's easy to get caught up in the commercialism of christmas. Prior to my divorce, as finances improved over the years, I started buying more and more things. Christmas became all about the stuff, and the divorce didn't help. My ex bought stuff to compensate and compete with me, and I did the same. It was wrong, it was sad, and the worst part was it had nothing to do with Jesus. I don't know when it happened but somewhere along the way I found my joy again. I quit worrying so much about the stuff, started baking again, and just started enjoying the holiday rather than dreading it. I'm glad because christmas is a hard time of year for me. I don't tend to work as much as I usually do in the winter, so money tends to be tight. I'm happy to hand out homemade gifts, and spend time at church, and with my family. I have friends right now that are struggling to make ends meet and are very worried about how to pay for christmas. They are dreading christmas rather than looking forward to it. I know what that's like, I've been there. It's my hope, and what I'm praying for this year that my friends find the joy of the christmas season again. That they find gifts they can make, or coupons with donations of their time to do a chore, play a game, or spend some time with the receiver of their gift. That they look forward to these things, rather than dread it. Please post your favorite christmas traditons. If you have any handmade gift ideas or pictures, please post them too.